I, Me & Myself...discovered, lost, re-discovered and lost again!

In the middle of the night, its silence and serenity; i find myself! Thoughts and wonderings rush by me, stir the inside of me, tickles my gut and the quietness of the night is gone...all i am left with a sea of questions; unanswered and unpondered. Introspection, i think is all i need a little more; but on a second thought it seems its the overdose of introspecting which gets me into this wonderstruck mode of being! Questions, where do they come from; why don't they get answers with them! Damn you questions; you upset me, you make me feel lost again. I want to keep the feeling of being a special someone, a blessed soul, the chosen one; closely bound to myself, safe in a box with me...the darkness of nights blurs away some realities of life and the silence makes me feel as if life is in my control, i hold life's remote control and all the worries, anticipations and anxieties washes away. And slumber pampers me, the angels of the might whispers sweet sounds by my pillow, I am the king of my world. The very purpose of my being caress me and i discover thy self! Then comes a new day, sunshine wakes me into a new world of new realities, i still hold on to my superiority; prune myself and prepare for the new challenges of the new day...As i buckle up and hit the roads again, i am lost! Lost in the discovery of the realities of life; one among the thousands-rushing to work, one among the lakhs chasing the basics of life, one among the millions striving for a livelihood....thats me-re-discovering myself! Who am I? Is that the real Me? I ask this over and over again to Myself! and in the continuos struggle of discovering the truth..i feel lost over and over again!!!

Lost i was....

Life is totally different today from the day i last wrote a note! I now have a job, beautiful days of college are coming to an end, i am soon going to be at home n see my folks after sooo long...close to 3 months and so much has happened, so much changed! Well, they say "change is good" and "change is the spice of life" ...blah blah blah, how sometimes in life so dont want anything to change, ur only wish then is that the time stands still, good times never may end and nothing shall ever change! I guess i am caught up in that frame these days- i really dont want any of this to change: college, masti, aish, party, ghoomna n above all friends.....everything seems just so right, so perfect! **Pinch Pinch** and i wake up to the reality...i find myself again out of the world i was lost in; and Yes! Its only around 20 days for college to end, friends to part, one phase of life will fade!!! Ah, why do all good things come to an end :( :( **sad sad sad**

...Just wish to spend these few last days with my lovely darling friends, create some more memories worth cherishing for years to come and live a whole lifetime in whatever lil' time we have got, time of togetherness, time of care, time of love, time of laughters and time of cheers...and just another wish, wherever we all may go...for each one of us...good times may continue!!! 

In the true Sparta Spirit...

                Dec 2, GLIM, Chennai--------------------------------------Dec 12, GLIM, Chennai

10 days of madness, insecurities, apprehensions, anxieties, tensions, plannings, prayers, and hopes!

As the placement week is scheduled to commence from Dec 12, everyone in the college is living with a heart beating fast and fingers crossed, expectations flying high and holding hard on to hopes and prayers. Its the time to reap the fruits of all the hard work and sweat we have put in during last 8 months, recollect all the MBA gyaan and  plunge our heart and soul to find that one perfect job: -time for placements!!! Yes, the time has finally come, which will mark an end to the fact of us not earning, time to pick a job which we always wanted to do, follow our dreams and shape our future. With 70+ companies visiting the campus for placements during Dec12-16, all this seems to be a fairytale soon going to be a reality, a dream coming true! As the golden future stand in front of us, welcoming all with arms wide open, We, The Spartans, prepare ourselves in true Sparta spirits to fight for it and win for ourselves our dreams and aspirations. Its the time to prove to the world outside, the acumen we have acquired after joining Great Lakes, with the help of world class faculty and learning facilities provided to us. These 10 days is the time of suspense and patience, while we also prepare ourselves for the moment to glory. Wishes to the fellow Spartans- all the best friends...chase it, fight for it, snatch it-because you deserve it!

Let the curtains fall, let the show begin! Placement week- Spartans are ready...bring it on!!!

.......So what!!!

Here goes the story of a coy and timid girl who always dressed up in simple clothes, very intelligent though, she was not one of those beautiful girls fluttering around. She too was aware of this fact but she was a confident, calm and composed lady. One beautiful Sunday morning, she went to the church with her family for the mass; dressed in a well starched pretty white gown-just as she always did on any and every sunday. But this very day she got a lot of compliments from the family and friends about she looking very pretty, the dress being elegant and what not! This indeed was not usual for her to get so many compliments, rather than being flattered, with every compliment she grew more and more suspicious to as something could have gone really wrong that she was getting noticed by so many people that day! Probably her dress is torn or the hair not done properly and people might just be complimenting her so that she does not feel bad for having goofed up so badly. As soon as the mass finished she rushed herself into the washroom to check what actually was wrong! To her surprise, she was really looking beautiful with a small bindi her mother had secretly put on her forehead without bringing into her notice. Having explored her own beauty, the same girl, after a few years was again in a similar situation- on a sunday morning mass- dressed up in an elegant gown, with best of her makeup on and having grown used to of being noticed and complimented for being so pretty and poised. Today also something happened which was not usual- An old lady ran into her and commented that she looked horrible that day! Just having heard that, she was so convinced that probably her make up came out or something surely have happened and she actually looked ugly; she didn't even wait for the mass to finish and ran into the washroom to check herself out. She again was surprised to notice that nothing was actually wrong and she looked perfectly fine!
Why is it that we believe more in what others say about us rather than what we think of yourself! Why is that it is difficult for us to believe in something positive told to us by someone else when so easily we cling to the negative comments passed to us! When someone runs into us and says you look pretty today- we think, 'must be some favor he needs that is why i am being praised today!' and when the same person says u look bad today, you start counting the reasons why you might be looking bad without even having examined the truth! Why not just know ourselves the way we are, accept ourself and be ourself. To hell with what others have to say. It is actually like becoming a television and giving the remote control to other people.Its like living your life on the whims and fancies of others, its as good as being others' slaves. Decide for yourself- be the king of your imperfect world or be a slave of this perfect world. Everyone have shortcomings. It is not good enough to know that you are not perfect, more important is to accept that you are not perfect and have an attitude that....so what!!!...if you are not perfect......no one is!!! 

blogging again...

Its been quite a few days i have written a blog! MBA indeed has been keeping me occupied... September came and went past like a cool swift breeze , without giving any time to spend writing one. It saw a lot of activity at college- classes (lots of !), assignments, presentations,case studies, submissions, dead lines, etc etc etc!!! To add to it, a lot of MBA competitions came and Dare2compete became second favorite site just after Facebook(which of course is the all time love). Though it made life hell hectic , yet a learning experience it was to participate in various B-School competitions (and insha-allah to have won a couple of them). I never realized when did my 3rd term exams started and finished and then came the long awaited break-------the 4 golden days of glory! After 6 months, finally saw my mom, dad, sisters, jijajis, my nieces and nephews- sia, soham, anukampa, ashmit (missed aastik a lot, m proud he is studying in boarding school), my chd gang of friends...so refreshing it was! A lot of important things happened in last month, lot of lessons learnt, shall be writing more about these in further detail.
Now, m back - but sadly writing on a day which is real sad- the world lost a visionary of all times- Steve Jobs. R.I.P. , people like him are a rarity. The loss would never be compensated, you will be missed SJ.
Let me quote this great man and give you food for thought...shall be posting more stuff later.
“That’s been one of my mantras — focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

Why me! Why again!!!

"Hum ek baar jite hain...
aur ek baar marte hain...
aur pyaar.....wo bhi ek hi baar hota hain", life would have been really simple if this famous dialogue of SRK from KKHH was actually the truth of life. But, I beg to differ!
"Hum zindagi pal pal jite hain....
bahut se pal marte hain...
aur payaar...wo bhi pal pal karte hain"!
Let me not generalize to everyone but keep this one to I, me, myself...
I gracefully accept what i am and my imperfections; may be thats why it keep coming back to me....the happiness, the sorrow, the love, the hatred, the right, the wrong, the zest, the gloom. Had I been so perfect, I would never have let the sorrow peep into my personal life which I would have made perfectly joyous and delightful. Kaash sab kuch itna acha hota.....Yun hota to kaisa hota...actually kitna boring hota! nahi?
Kuch bhi happening na hota! I never would have had the chance to feel the happiness of small little things in life that comes after a big fat era of sorrow,  neither i would have felt the warmth of the one touch of a beloved after a long time of separation, nor i would have felt the importance of my being when someone tries to cheer up when sad! Huh!! The thought of such a so called perfect world is spooky...
Life's blessings are disguised in all these small moments!!!
Had there been no sad day there would be no importance of a glad day...but then Why do i complain?
Why do i crib about things not going the prefect way? When there are hard times; Why do i keep shouting--Why me! Why again!!!!
I pause here, to dig a lil' deeper; though i guess i know the answers to my questions...yet i am so caught up in this vicious circle......but....Why me! Why again!!!

Bring it on......

Life has been good these days....full of fun filled challenges, racing against time, beating deadlines and what not! To add a zing to it is the project "iChew" , what a learning i must say! Social media is indeed more than chatting on facebook and tweeting the gossips people, i have learnt my lesson (in a pleasant way), there is a whole world worth exploring!!! Everyday is a new learning, a value addition with everything you do! Setting your goals (small, big, not so big....), chasing them, beating them, raising your standards, benchmarking yourself against you, blah blah blah, but actually its not blah! These day have been days of tremendous learning and trying my hand at so many new things i have never doen so far! Though only a 3-4 hr of sleep is what i have been able to get for my self but the days have been very restful and mind at the epitome of calmness. I guess the only reason for all these oxymoronic things happening to me is that i have been doing things which i have always wanted to, it is a food for the soul and gives me immense esthetic satisfaction. I now agree with all who always professed-"This is one life-do things which makes you happy! Happiness is the key to success." With the freshly enthused energy and vigor i feel i am more than ready to plunge myself into anything that i have ever wanted to.....Dear Life, Bring it on!!!